You Need A Plan

Author: Jamie Bessette

One day before long we had children my husband and I decided to take a hike on the west side of Rocky Mountain National Park. When we got out of the car we watched a gentleman start up a hill trying to get close enough to an elk to take its picture. I thought that was a pretty dumb idea on his part because if the elk had charged him he would be in a world of hurt. His wife and kids were standing on the roadside where we had parked and she was explaining to the kids how awesome their dad was that he was going to get this picture and I just remember thinking how stupid he was. My husband and I put on our daypacks and got ready to head out on the trail when the same woman ran over to us, she grabbed my arm and she said, “Kids! Kids! look at that! These are real hikers! They're going out into the woods for probably a week!” To which I replied, “Or just for today.” I could feel my husband’s desire to roll his eyes and say something to this lady about how irrational she was. As my husband and I started walking down the trail I thought about how dramatic those people were and how much they annoyed me. I was happy to head to a trail where not many people followed us. The trail was easy to maneuver and the scenes were absolutely gorgeous.

I'm one of those people that needs to look at the trail as I'm walking on it or I tend to fall off the trail, sprain an ankle or plain hurt myself somehow. So there I was happily walking down the trail staring at my husband's feet on the trail when all of the sudden I ran into the back of him. My first thought was why on Earth did you stop? I started to say something and he put his fingers up to his lips as though to tell me to shut up. So I carefully looked around him to find a bull elk standing about 15 feet away from us and his eyes locked with mine. The adrenaline rush started through my body. I did not expect to see a wild animal this close ever.

My husband whispers to me, “If he charges us... climb a tree.” So I began to look around to pick my tree so that I knew which one I was going to run to and climb up as best my wimpy arms could carry me up. I wondered if the man chasing the elk knew to climb a tree. Right now the two of us didn’t seem so different. It was then that I realized that there were no branches on these trees until you got 50 feet up.

I whispered to him, “I don't think I can climb one of these trees.” He whispered back to me, “If the bull charges us you sure will.” It was that in that moment that I realized I had the potential of dying that day. I had no plan because I had no idea that I was going to need a plan and when the time rose and I needed a plan I didn't have the ability to adequately complete a plan that would keep me safe. I was terrified.

So what’s your plan when your child throws a fit while grocery shopping? So what's your plan when your child/student tells you “No” for the first time? So what’s your plan when there is a fire drill and one of your students flips out?

When working with kids you always need a plan! When your body goes into fight or flight mode you will resort to the last amount of education you have, this is not the time to be creating something new. So plan ahead.

When I work with severely behaviorally disordered kids I get a team together. We discuss scenarios and then practice. I’ve had kids that were so intense people were assigned specific tasks so that a person only had to focus on one job. Yes, I have physically restrained students. I know this is a hot topic in education right now. Let me explain it this way. If you were walking down the street and someone attacked you would you defend yourself or let them continue to beat you?

My job, as a school employee, is to make sure everyone is safe- everyone. Would you want me to hold a kid to keep them from breaking your kids nose? I bet you would. Please don’t judge me and please understand, I use this as my last resort and after I’ve done everything in my power to prevent it from getting to a level where a restraint is needed. I don’t enjoy this part of my job but I know it is something I need to plan for so that I can ensure the highest level of safety for all involved. Plans need to be specific to the situation therefore I can’t just give you a plan to follow, I’m sorry.

If you think you won’t need a plan my only advice is to get your head out of the sand and be real. In some of my best planning sessions the team figures out how to prevent the behavior from occurring in the first place. For example, I had a kid who picked up a desk with the intention of throwing it through a window. In debriefing after the incident we realized that if we turned the student’s desk we could see the behavior starting and therefore could intervene before the student actually threw the desk through the window.

Debriefing after a situation is essential. That’s where the best problem solving happens. Ok so you had to carry your kid out of the store because they were throwing a fit, now how will you prevent that from happening again? See? Have a plan.

The last piece is to have a team. If you're a single parent use a friend or your own mom or dad to help you solve the problem.You get more brain power and more creative ideas when you have a group. Turning the desk wasn’t my idea. It was from a person who wasn’t even there when the event happened but she was part of our debriefing team.

People sometimes make fun of me because of my”preparedness” but who do you think they run to when they have a problem? I’ll admit, I try to think of everything and maybe that’s a fault in me being a perfectionist but it sure helps me more often than not. I can’t encourage you enough to think ahead and plan both personally and professionally, not just for the big events but the small ones too.

Disclaimer: My husband said I was in no real danger that day. (I’m not sure I’d agree.)